Active listening game: practice the exercises that make someone feel heard

What is active listening at work?

Active listening is a set of skills and techniques where you give someone your full attention, reflect back what you heard, tentatively name the emotion, and ask open questions before offering advice. At work it shows up in 1:1s, feedback talks and tense Slack threads — and it's one of the highest-leverage habits for new managers.

Active listening techniques you can practice (the triad)

1. Reflect — paraphrase the content in your own words ("What I'm hearing is…").
2. Name the feeling — offer a tentative emotion label ("It sounds like you're frustrated — am I close?").
3. Ask an open question — invite more ("What's the hardest part?") instead of jumping to a fix.

The game scores you on this triad.

Active listening exercises for managers (solo)

1. Play one take of this game daily (Daily Take).
2. In your next 1:1, count how many times you advise before you reflect.
3. Rewrite one Slack reply: delete the solution sentence, add one paraphrase + one question.
4. After a hard conversation, jot what they felt — not what you'll do.
5. Practice the triad out loud once before the meeting.

Examples of active listening at work

• They: "I'm fine. Just a lot right now." — You: "Before we dig in — something seems to be sitting heavy. What's coming up for you?"
• They: "I don't see the point of this project." — You: "It sounds like the work lost its why after the reorg — is that close?"
• They: "I keep thinking I'm behind everyone else." — You: "When you say that — what's the part that feels heaviest in standup?"
• They: "You changed the plan without telling me." — You: "That was disrespectful — say that word with me. What would rebuild trust on decisions?"

How do I show I'm listening without jumping to fix it?

Name the urge ("I have ideas — can I hold them for a minute?"), use the triad first, and only offer a fix when they ask or when you've confirmed what they need.

Practice the real 1:1 in your own words

Ready to type your own lines? Start a free i-Grow.co rehearsal. Rolling listening practice to new managers? See i-Grow.co for Teams.

Related tools

• Hedge Hunter
• First Performance Review Simulator
• Emotional Regulation Tracker
• Difficult Conversation Planner
• PIP Conversation Simulator
• All tools
• iGrow for Teams